


All I Want

by Esperata



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Advice, Christmas, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Mistletoe, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-09 07:48:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12883335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperata/pseuds/Esperata
Summary: Jonathan Archer wants to help his officers get what they want for Christmas.





	1. Christmas Is Coming

“With all due respect Captain… you can’t be serious.”

The response from his armoury officer wasn’t unexpected. And if the slight smirk on Trip’s face was any indication, he could have predicted that reply as well. Nonetheless, Archer wasn’t to be dissuaded.

“I am serious. I believe it will be a valuable exercise for the senior staff.”

Malcolm stared at him, clearly analysing him for either brainwashing or alien influence.

“You want us to write to Santa Claus?” he reiterated, obviously checking there was no simple cultural misunderstanding, like the time Trip had suggested Malcolm bring chips to a party in engineering.

Trip had to duck his head to hide his amusement while Travis was now grinning openly.

“That is what I said, yes,” Archer confirmed, refusing to be put off by his crew’s reaction.

“Sir,” Malcolm started in that tone which implied anything but respect, “it may have escaped your notice but none of us are of the age to believe in Santa anymore.”

Archer took a moment to remind himself that it would be improper to send his tactical officer to his quarters without dinner for being snarky. Instead he took a calming breath and counted to ten.

“Yes, I know that Malcolm. But I think you’re missing the point.”

The Lieutenant inclined his head in an invitation for an explanation and Archer took the opportunity to enlighten them.

“When I was a child, I would write to Santa every year. But I remember vividly the year I decided I was too old for such childish nonsense and told my father I wasn’t going to do it anymore. He sat me down at his desk and said to me that it wasn’t writing to Santa that was important but the act of thinking about what I wanted. That year, instead of asking for toys, books, games, he made me write down what I wanted to achieve.

“I didn’t achieve half the things I wrote down. Not that year. But I achieved some of them. And the year after I achieved more. And now, every year, I look ahead and think about what I could do. Either for myself or someone else.

“And so, I want my command crew to stop, take stock, and think about what they’re looking for in the future. What they could do here and now to make things better. Because we’ve all been through a lot and I think a lot of us have lost sight of what’s important.

“So yes, lieutenant, I expect you all to write a letter to Santa. And we’ll see if we as a group can’t help each other to achieve some goals.”

A somewhat awkward silence followed until Trip clapped his hands together.

“There’s a whole lot of upgrades I’d be just itching to get trialled out for the warp engine.”

Malcolm nodded thoughtfully.

“I’m certain there’s plenty of weapon enhancements which would benefit the ship’s armament.”

“Gentlemen, while I’m sure those are both worthy aims, I was hoping for something a bit more… personalised?”

“I always wanted to learn a musical instrument,” Hoshi chimed in.

Archer grinned.

“That’s exactly the sort of idea I was thinking about.”

“That is something I might assist you with,” T’Pol finally joined the conversation. “I am familiar with the lyrette.”

“See?” Jonathan smiled widely. “Get thinking people and let me know when you have some ideas. Dismissed.”


	2. The Letter

Jonathan Archer hadn’t been lying when he’d told his staff about his father. It had been their tradition for Jonathan to write his letter to Santa Christmas Eve and then, on New Year’s Eve, he and his father would sit down to work out a plan for the coming year. Although he wasn’t planning on forcing his crew to stick to that timetable, he did genuinely think it was a good habit for them to acquire.  
However that wasn’t to say he didn’t have his own unspoken reasons for his request.  
Which was why the first ‘letter’ he opened was the one from his tactical officer.

_To whom it may concern,_

The somewhat tongue in cheek morbid opening brought an amused smile to Jonathan’s face. It was the typical dark humour he’d come to expect from Malcolm.

_Since making the decision to join Starfleet I have always aimed to prove worthy of my own command…_

Archer nearly sighed at the predictability. He’d been hoping his hint about personal development might generate a little less career orientated response.

_To that end I have trained and studied hard. However there is one area that has always proved… elusive. I… do not make friends easily._

Jonathan couldn’t help but lean forward in expectation.

_It isn’t easy for me to overcome my natural reticence. The friends I have made on Enterprise… They have reached out to me and I am grateful to them for that… However I would like to show them I am grateful for their friendship… That I appreciate their loyalty… Trust them implicitly…_

Archer heard Malcolm huff out a frustrated breath and held his own as he awaited whatever came next.

_I just want to show him I care._

“Computer pause,” Jonathan barked. “Back five seconds and play.”

_I just want to show him I care._

A huge grin spread across Jonathan’s face. ‘ _him_ ’ Not ‘them’ but the singular ‘him’. Malcolm wanted to show someone in particular that he cared and Archer had a shrewd idea just who the armoury officer meant.

“Computer, find and play Commander Tucker’s most recent message.”

_Jon, I’ll keep this short. What I want from Santa? Short, dark and handsome. Guess that ain’t no surprise to you._

Jonathan chuckled at the blunt honesty from Trip. In truth he’d never doubted what his friend would focus on. After all, he’d been pretty well focused on the same someone since boarding Enterprise. It was only the fear of ruining a hard won friendship that held Trip back.

And now, Jonathan could be fairly certain that wasn’t an issue. 

True, Malcolm hadn’t explicitly stated Trip’s name yet… who else would he possibly mean? Who else did he eat meals with every day? Who else did he let drag him to movie night and social events? Who else forced him to take shore leave, more often than not leading the lieutenant into trouble on the way?

For that matter, who else would Malcolm follow so willingly into any and all situations, be they awkward or dangerous?

And Archer knew it would make Trip’s Christmas if he could propel Malcolm his way. Letting the lieutenant think he was enacting his own strategy should prevent a panicked withdrawal on his part as well.

Another smile curled across Archer’s face as a plan began to form.


	3. Movie Magic

“Come in and sit down Malcolm.”

Jonathan grinned at the anxious armoury officer. The British officer still hadn’t adjusted to his commanding officer’s habit of socialising with his subordinates. He did however obey the instruction promptly.

“Thank you sir.”

Archer took pity on him and got straight to his point.

“I went through the letters submitted by the senior crew last night.”

“Sir?”

It was impressive, Jonathan reflected, how much could be conveyed with a simple one-syllable word. Archer smiled at him reassuringly.

“While I did want everyone to consider their own ambitions, I believe I said they’d have help in achieving them.”

He paused momentarily as he poured himself more coffee and proffered the pot. Malcolm merely shook his head and waited for the captain to continue.

“Some are fine left to their own devices – and some I’ve delegated – but I felt you’d best benefit from my guidance.”

He smiled broadly at Malcolm even as the other man clearly looked for an escape route.

“That’s… very kind but it really isn’t necessary.”

“Nonsense. I want to help. And you won’t refuse to at least hear your commanding officer out will you?”

It was a childish tactic but one Jonathan could at least be sure of working.

“Of course not sir.”

“It’s alright. I’m not going to order you. I just thought you might appreciate some friendly advice.”

“Thank you sir. I’m sure it will be most… enlightening.”

Archer let the hesitation pass and got down to his self-acknowledged plan.

“I thought it might be best for you to start small. I’m sure you wouldn’t feel comfortable going all out and hosting a party.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Well then. Am I right in thinking you regularly go with Trip to movie night?”

Malcolm nodded, clearly cautious about where this line of questioning was leading.

“And would I also be right in assuming that’s usually at his suggestion?”

Again Malcolm nodded.

“Right. Then what I suggest is… you ask him for a change.”

“Sir?”

“You said in your letter that your friends reached out to you. Well? Time to reach back lieutenant.” As Malcolm considered the proposal, Archer continued. “It will reassure Trip that you genuinely enjoy the social interaction. That he’s not just dragging your unwilling ass along. And it’ll show him that you look forward to his company.”

Malcolm was nodding in affirmation.

“Yes. I can see how that gesture might be appreciated.” His eyebrows rose in mild surprise. “And it’s a remarkably simple tactic. Thank you sir.”

“You’re very welcome lieutenant. Now try some of the fruit preserve.”

*

It was a few days later when Trip appeared, grinning fit to burst, at Jonathan’s doorway.

Archer didn’t have to ask but he gestured for Trip to explain anyway.

“You’ll never guess what happened,” the Southern burbled excitedly. “Malcolm turned up in Engineering and, after some inane muttering about diverting power for testing, he outright asked me to go to the movie with him!”

Archer hid his grin well.

“I thought you two always went together?” he replied as casually as he could.

“Well, yeah,” Trip considered this. “But usually I have to remind _him._ And this weren’t even a film he likes. I mean, if it were one o’ them James Bond movies he likes so much I’d just think it was the film he were interested in. But this was _Elf._ An’ he told me last year he can barely stand it!”

“Really?” Jonathan asked in genuine surprise.

“Yeah. I mean who doesn’t like _Elf_? He said somethin’ ‘bout the penguin giving him the creeps.” Trip continued to frown momentarily before grinning happily. “I’m telling you, it’s just about made my year,” he continued.

Jonathan smiled to himself.

If he had any say in it, Trip would have plenty more to celebrate before long.


	4. Not Quite A Date

“Lieutenant? A moment.”

Malcolm hung back by the briefing room table as the others made their way back to their stations, his posture no longer quite so relaxed.

“Sir?”

“At ease. I just had another suggestion for you. If you’re interested?”

There was no doubt to what the captain was referring although a part of Reed was tempted to claim ignorance. Instead he gave a curt nod.

“It seems to me,” Archer began, “that turning the tables on Trip’s been a good way to reassure him he’s not pressuring you into his company. But it doesn’t exactly show you _enjoy_ his company.”

Malcolm frowned slightly.

“What do you suggest?”

“Ask him to something new. Something he hasn’t asked you to before. It doesn’t have to be dramatic,” Jonathan assured as he saw his subordinate’s frown deepen. “Just… share a drink in your quarters. I’d suggest catch up on a game but…”

“I still don’t follow any sports,” Malcolm concluded, a small smile now pulling at his lips. He nodded. “I’ll try that sir. Thank you.”

As the lieutenant left, Archer finally allowed the grin he’d held back to spread.

*

It was at the end of their lunch that Malcolm finally decided to act on the captain’s suggestion. He had been internally debating whether it would be appropriate or appreciated until eventually he’d decided there was only one way to find out.

“Trip?”

“Yeah?”

The engineer had been about to leave but the hesitancy in his friend’s voice drew his whole attention back.

“I was wondering…” Malcolm trailed off awkwardly and his eyes slid away to fix unseeing on the easy, chattering crew. Unnoticed in front of him, Trip held his breath.

Malcolm finally focused on the relaxed interaction of the crew and realised he was being unusually cowardly. There was no reason Trip would think he was being anything other than friendly. Which was fortunate because he was pretty much certain the engineer would _never_ consider him in a romantic light and would run a mile if he knew Malcolm thought of him that way.

With a steely determination Malcolm focused his gaze back on his friend.

“I had some whiskey given to me last birthday. It seemed a shame to drink it on my own. I thought you might join me and we could discuss those proposed new force field barriers?”

The questioning tone entered his voice unbidden and he nearly winced as he heard himself. But Tucker only grinned.

“That sounds good. Shall I stop by after my shift? I could bring somethin’ from the mess?”

Reed nodded, letting out a relieved breath as he did so.

“Not the meatloaf,” he added quickly.

Trip laughed.

*

Tucker did his best not to appear excited as he arrived outside Malcolm’s door. This wasn’t a date, he reminded himself. Just two friends unwinding after a day on duty.

He’d had to stop himself from changing out of uniform, knowing that Malcolm would probably not have changed himself, and from getting carried away choosing their dinner.

The door opened to reveal Malcolm looking as polished as if he were just going on duty, not relaxing afterwards.

“Commander. Come in.”

“Uh uh,” Trip admonished as he made his way inside. “No ranks. We’re off duty remember?”

Malcolm smiled, suitably chastised, and gestured Trip to put the food on his desk.

“Of course.” He moved to join Trip and glanced at what he’d brought. “Chinese?” he enquired.

“Wasn’t sure what to bring to be honest,” Trip admitted. “Seemed best to get something where ya can take yer pick.”

Malcolm nodded.

“Good idea. I’ve always quite liked oriental food.”

Trip grinned to himself as Malcolm helped himself to a plate and began spooning out dishes. He nearly whooped when he saw Reed instinctively pick up the chopsticks. Trip had almost not gotten them since he himself preferred not to use them.

“It’s hardly rocket science!” Reed admonished when Trip said as much.

“Ah know. But I always drop more than I eat when I try.”

“Look. You just grip it gently,” Reed held up his pair in Tucker’s line of sight, “and don’t put too much pressure on them.”

Trip found himself staring past the utensils at his friend before quickly lowering his eyes.

“Bet yer can’t pick up a spring roll with ‘em,” he challenged.

A few second later and a smirking lieutenant was deftly holding a spring roll up.

“Well, I’ll be damned.”

Malcolm’s smirk faded to a smile and he held the offering out.

Trip eyed him a moment before deciding to be daring. He leant forward and bit into the savoury snack without taking it from Reed’s chopsticks.

Surprise registered briefly in the armoury officer’s eyes, which Trip held as he leant back and chewed.

“It’s good,” he commented.

Without looking away from Trip, Malcolm brought the other half to his own mouth and Trip watched it disappear behind much admired lips.

“Hhmm,” Malcolm agreed.

Trip licked his lips and was about to suggest a similar trick with something else when Malcolm abruptly looked away.

“I drew up some notes on that force field report. I’d like you to read it over. Make sure I haven’t missed anything.”

Trip resisted the urge to sigh.


	5. Out Manouevered

“Trip said you had dinner together.”

The unexpected voice made Lieutenant Reed start but he hid it well as the captain joined him waiting for the lift.

“Indeed,” he agreed.

Archer surveyed him out of the corner of his eye.

In truth, Trip had said a whole lot more than that – debating at length whether the signals he thought he had received were genuine or more wishful thinking. Archer was inclined to believe the former but hesitated to say anything that might get his friend’s hope up only to be dashed if he were wrong.

He was determined to put an end to this cautious manoeuvring though.

“Do you think it helped show your feelings for the Commander?” Archer asked bluntly.

Malcolm looked to him in surprise before the turbolift’s arrival gave him a distraction.

Not for long though as the captain stepped in with him.

“I believe he knows I value his friendship,” Malcolm answered evasively.

“Well that’s not good enough,” Archer declared.

“Sir?”

“He should know you’re a true friend Malcolm. Ready to stand by him through thick and thin.”

“I’m sure he knows that captain. After the shuttlepod and Risa…”

“Both situations outside your control,” Jonathan interrupted. “True friends show it by choice.”

Malcolm frowned.

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re getting at sir.”

The lift stopped and Jonathan stepped out, trusting Malcolm to fall into step beside him. Which he did.

“The Christmas party is this evening, as I’m sure you’re aware?”

“Since you rearranged the duty roster to ensure I attended then it’s safe to say I am aware sir.”

Jonathan smirked. He’d learnt a few tricks after the lieutenant’s deft tactical withdrawals of previous years.

“Right. Well, the final step in proving your friendship will be showing it publicly.”

“I believe most of the crew are aware the Commander and I are friends,” Malcolm suggested.

Jonathan stopped and turned to him.

“Yes, they are,” he agreed gently, “but that’s not the point.”

“It isn’t?”

“No.” Jonathan paused as he chose his words with care. “We want Trip to know you value his friendship more than any other. More than your own comfort.”

Malcolm nodded hesitantly.

“I do,” he agreed cautiously.

Jonathan took a deep breath before plunging ahead.

“So I think you should kiss him under the mistletoe.”

“What?!”

It was the first time he’d ever heard the armoury officer splutter.

“Malcolm, every year the senior staff end up being caught by nearly everyone under the mistletoe at some point. Correct?”

“Yes,” Malcolm agreed reluctantly.

“Except yourself.”

It wasn’t a question so the captain received no reply.

“And generally, the most oft caught under the mistletoe is our own Chief engineer. Often with promises not to get him pregnant.”

They both winced at the too often heard joke. Trip had dealt with it well but it struck both his friends as unfair that he was still being teased about something which had in no way been his fault.

Jonathan pressed his advantage.

“How much would it mean to Trip if you were to willingly join in to share in his ignominy?”

Malcolm shifted uncomfortably but the captain chose to wait him out.

“You really think it’s that important to proving our friendship?”

“Willingly submitting to ridicule to take attention away from him?”

Malcolm sighed.

“When you put it like that…”

“Good man.” Archer clapped him on the shoulder.


	6. Mistletoe

Malcolm had attempted to stay in the armoury but eventually Ensign Tanner had threatened to report him to the captain and he’d reluctantly left, all the while muttering about insubordination.

At least this delay meant the party was in full swing by the time he arrived and he was able to sneak in unobtrusively.

Or he would have been able to if Trip hadn’t almost immediately caught sight of him and bounded over.

“Malcolm! Ah was beginning to think yer weren’t coming!”

Malcolm smiled a half smile at the engineer’s enthusiasm.

“The captain made it a direct order.”

His reply generated a burst of laughter before Trip was dragged back to dance with another of his engineering crew.

Malcolm watched surreptitiously from the security of the makeshift bar, sipping some of the punch to steady his nerves. It seemed every dance partner managed to manoeuvre their chief under the mistletoe to steal a friendly kiss. He hadn’t been aware engineering was so well staffed, he mused as yet another member of Trip’s team seized their obliging commanding officer.

Which one was that? Walsh? Jenkins?

Malcolm wondered if Trip even knew or cared by this point and he realised the whole ‘kissing under the mistletoe’ thing wasn’t as big a deal as he’d always believed.

With that thought in mind he manoeuvred himself over to catch Trip as his latest partner relinquished him.

Trip registered surprise swiftly followed by pleasure on seeing him.

“Malcolm.”

If the happy smile hadn’t broken him, the purring tone of voice certainly did.

Without giving either of them time to think, he leant up and pressed his lips to Tucker’s.

Malcolm intended just a quick press of lips – a short peck followed by a quip about minding his surroundings – but immediately realised he didn’t have the will to pull away. So he decided to savour the moment and memorize every detail before Trip inevitably pushed him away.

Except Tucker didn’t. 

Instead he found warm lips pushing back against his just as firmly. The gasp he let out was genuine surprise at the realisation but the engineer treated it as an invitation. And Malcolm certainly didn’t have the heart to refuse him. In fact, if he hadn’t needed to breathe he doubted he’d ever have wanted to pull back.

Breaking away though, and meeting somewhat glazed blue eyes staring at him uncomprehendingly, Malcolm thought perhaps it’d have been better to stop breathing than lose that moment of blissful fantasy.

He tried to retreat, to flee from the sudden exposure, but the engineer had at some point latched his arms about his waist and Malcolm was too flustered to counter it.

“How much have you had to drink?” he hissed, feeling hurt and defensive and not sure now who he most wanted to hide from – Trip or the mingling party goers glancing their way. He realised with a further flush of embarrassment that leaving Trip’s arms now wouldn’t be wise, given the state that the kiss had left him in.

Trip silently pulled them into motion, a slow shuffling dance across the floor that Malcolm acquiesced to as the lesser of two evils.

“Not a drop. Ah swear.”

“Then why did you kiss me like that?” Malcolm demanded in a hushed tone.

A low chuckle drew the Englishman’s puzzled gaze back to Trip’s.

This time the expression was far more focused and intense and he saw that Trip really hadn’t been drinking.

“Did it not occur to you ah just might _want_ to kiss you?”

Malcolm’s silence and blink told the engineer that it really hadn’t occurred to the other man so he explained.

“Malcolm, ah’ve wanted to kiss yer from the first moment ah saw yer. But I didn’t think yer’d want me to.”

“Oh I wanted you to,” Malcolm replied. “I just never thought it would be appropriate to suggest such a thing.”

“So,” Trip tightened his hold on the lieutenant. “If you want it, an’ I want it, then…?”

Malcolm smiled.

“Then, Mister Tucker, I believe we shall both get what we want for Christmas after all.”


End file.
